Person taking a selfie + sipping a drink = Raised eyebrows + bulging eyeballs.
Yogi Face
"I washed my hair today!"
Can someone explain to me why women who are into yoga post pictures like this??
Make-Up Tutorial
Hey! I'm so good at make-up and confident in my application of it that I will still use an obvious filter!
The Candid Gym Pic
Cool candid picture that you took of yourself at the gym that no one really cares about but we will still like it so you will like one of our photos in return!
The Snapchat Filter Profile Picture
Did you use a Snapchat filter that changed you from a regular looking human into an unrecognizable Disney Princess? If the answer was yes, than that mean you definitely posted it to Facebook.
Lookout for a "wow you are so beautiful" comment from that family member who has made you uncomfortable since childhood or from that guy you're not sure if you ever met in real life but always wishes you a "happy birthday" when the time comes around.
The Internet See's More of You Than Your Partner Pic
Getting ready to go out with my man tonight!
#GodIsGood #SexyAndSavingMyself
The Ex Bed pic
Ladies does your partner have an ex who has a picture on Facebook or any form of social media laying on a bed in this sort of fashion? If yes, dump him. HE CHOSE to be with someone who was crazy enough to post this picture online. Not her fault for being crazy, his fault for picking to be with crazy.
Compare and Contrast
12 Likes
FranSmitherhouse: Yummy snack! I love to get a boost of protein to keep my metabolism up! Send me a message if you'd like to join me! #CleanEats #FollowMyJourney #Fitspiration #balance
28,441 Likes
AllieBrady: Cruzin' down the west side with my hommies #Dog
Something that gives me a lot of hope is that pictures of dogs, babies, and boobs get more "likes" than pictures of that girl you went to high school with "helping others" by telling you what she eats to maintain her not-necessarily-sculpted-physique.
The Private Life
Private Instagram Accounts: Because this RN from Cleveland is still taking YOLO to heart.
That Bartender Who Hates Her Dad
Fran Smitherhouse
September 9 2016 7:47 pm
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Working at Chuckies Tavern tonight. Come play and lets cause some trouble ;)
1. Aren't you TIPS certified and have to stop serving people after they are at that "about to cause some trouble" phase?
2. People who put wink faces in posts after saying something that could be construed as sexual are the same people who work out at female-only gyms because they hate "all the attention" they get from men.
3. Come play what? There's literally one dart board in that bar... oh, wait... you want me to have sex with you... I think?
2. People who put wink faces in posts after saying something that could be construed as sexual are the same people who work out at female-only gyms because they hate "all the attention" they get from men.
3. Come play what? There's literally one dart board in that bar... oh, wait... you want me to have sex with you... I think?
The Inspiration
The hardest part about finding an inspirational quote is finding which weird design to choose in order to showcase it.
Back to School Post
Fran Smitherhouse
2 hours ago
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First day of class!
It's back to school time for college students! Look for a selfie that has nothing to do with school, books, or the school the person is attending. This is really just an excuse for someone to take a picture, filter it, and wait for that one guy to say something about it. Points if any of her responses includes emojis.
The Go Password
Anyone have an HBO Go/Netflix/Hulu/Showtime password I can have? I know you pay monthly for this service but I deserve it for free. Thanks!
The Gym Proof
Callused!!
Lady who posts pictures of herself during a workout = Lady who wears "Namaste in Bed" tank top while smiling to herself as she reads a wine meme on her phone.
The Fitness Coach
"You guys, it's soo important to fill your day with protein!! I love adding almond milk to my coffee (it's super yummy in shakes!!!!!!!), eating string cheese, and Greek yogurt! Who doesn't love chocolate chips in their protein bar. I totes get sooo full!!!!!"
#BeachBody #SheddingWeightForTheWeddingEvenThoughIHadTheWholeRelationShipToDoIt #CleanEats #IHaventBlinkedInWeeks #IChooseMe
There is a new wave of people claiming to be fitness/nutrition coaches without having any background in dietetics and nutrition, just a username and password to some online calorie counting website. This person tends to take pictures of themselves in the middle of eating high protein food, in particular, protein shakes.
This person is NOT the same as someone who is documenting their weight loss story and is giving inspiration.
The Snapchat Barfolomew
If you're on Snapchat you've seen a version of this picture.
I would love to point out how far along we have come as Americans where it's not weird at all for a 35 year old adult to lick the air, stare into their cellphone, pretend they are a puppy, and then share it with their friends.
Child Bride
UGGGHH!!! Guys I'm 24 now! Im SOOOO OOOLLLLDDD!!!
Every person reading the status...
*If this is your boyfriend's ex girlfriend, shout out to him for no longer dating an ovulating child.
The Activist on Paper
"Elephants should be the only ones who own ivory!!!"
Followed by:
"Mmmmm all this dinner is missing is bacon <3 "
Listen, do what you want to do, but if you're going to keep posting the "save the animals" images, perhaps chill out on the images of the latest flesh you're tearing into.
The Robot Account
Here is something that will help you out: If some really hot chick whom you've never met, sends you a friend request, and the only mutual friend you share is that weird guy who always comments on how pretty you look when you post a new picture... that's not a real account.
Single Mom
Typical fortysomething single mom picture. Keep an eye out for an inappropriately tucked in shirt to showcase her figure, widely spread hand to grasp second generation iPhone, and a mirror.
The Pointless LOL
"My dog though LOL"
Umm no LOL. We know it's weird that you're posting this for no reason, you know it's weird you're posting this for no reason. Don't add a "LOL" to make it seem OK.
The "My Boyfriend is Better Than Yours."
My boyfriend showed up to dinner on time AND told me he liked my earrings today #MyBoyfriendIsBetterThanYours
To the people who post these bullshit posts: You just started dating CHILL THE FUCK OUT. Secondly, my boyfriend is a great guy, YOU KNOW HIM so stop acting like a fucking cunt. We are all friends here.
The "No One Really Cares Except That Guy You Don't Really Know But He Replies To Everything" Post
"Tough workout at the gym."
The Cleanup Friend
Going through my friends on Facebook and deleted a bunch. If you see this post be grateful bc youve made the cut. Xo.
Mom Text: Haircut
Did your mom get a haircut? Then she sent you a picture of herself looking away and sort of showing off her new do.
Interior Shots
If a lady you're interested in has a profile picture of herself in a car still, she:
1. Is still in college majoring in interior design.
2. Tells men she just meets how annoying it is to be allergic to condoms.
*Look for an unnatural smile, and check for seatbelts.
Inappropriate RIP With Inappropriate Image
Peace to Bobbi Kristina #ShineBrightLikeADiamond #BOBBAAYBrown #LookAfterLamar #RIP
Late Night Posts
People who post old Late Night clips to others wall.
Fran Smitherhouse l> Tommy Gruntlister
October 17 2015 8:39pm
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Fran Smitherhouse:
1 hour ago
BABY!!! You need to see this lipsynch battle that Jimmy Fallon did!!!!!! Remember when it came up in conversation once and I was the only one who didn't see it? Well now I feel the need to share it with you again, even though you have seen it, because I was bored at work and wanted to make sure no woman posted on your wall. Love you!
Cracked
You: Uggh looks like my screen finally broke.
Friend: Whaaaat? Ahhh!!!!
1. Join the fucking club.
2. The type of person who "Likes" and comments on this photo is the type of person who overreacts every time they find out you've never seen Breaking Bad.
Street Art Selfie
#Art
People love taking pictures of themselves with mirrors littered with graffiti. Not douchey, but it's definitely a thing.
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