The Life by Zodiac

Hey friends, here's an article about how I'm a bitch, yet also lovable, as I am born in December. Oh, the source? Yahoo News.

The Holiday Prep

Neither of these photos are douchey, it is rather nice to see a friend's holiday tradition.
 I will point out that I could have posted one image but was unable to control myself so I added another, which is definitely something you will see this holiday season. 

Couple TMI

Fran Smitherhouse: Omg this legit happened to us @Dave! No more suicidal chicken wings on date night ;)

People at home reading your post...

The Hologram Michael Jackson

Either someone fucked up the filter on their picture or took one of those photo booth photos that "sketches" you and makes you look like the pervy version of the Sun-Maid Raison girl. 

Couple TMI Divorce/Breakup

These types of posts are as uncomfortable as seeing a co-workers dick pic. 

"Disappointed yet again that he chose to go to his mom's house for his brother's birthday instead of watching Frozen with me. So over it. Smh."



 Ew. Gross and boring!

Ahh so much better!

The Live Action Failed Shot

The friend who takes a bad picture when they are in front of the action...

Is the same friend who...

Sits far away and takes an equally bad shot. 


The Unintentionally Sad Post

Curling up to a day old glass of Malbec and a new book on this lovely Friday night.
#YesPlease #Itsmy30thBirthday #MyFriendsAreOutButImStayingIn 

The World Around Us

What people think they look like while taking an "usie."

What they look like to everyone else...

The Don't Care


Don't care about what? I DON'T GET IT!  

The Over-Hashtaged

Fransmithers37: Ready for me??! #redlipsdontcare #blackhairdontcare #KylieJennerLips #bae #TryingToMoveMyEyebrowsLOL #datenight #getreadywithFranFriday #TMNT #ChicaCherryCola #GreenEyes #T1000WasMyFavinTerminator #IWishedUponAStarAndNothingHappened #GoogleHowYouCanGiveYourselfPinkEye

Something's Missing?

Something is missing with these photos but I just can't put my finger on it... Ahh yes, you CROPPED OUT AN ENTIRE PERSON!

Fashion Triptych

As seen on Instagram 
Today's look: Calvin Klein dress, Xhileration tights, Express for Men belt, Tampax Pearl tampon, Forever 21 boots 



Fran_freaky19: New nail polish I'm trying out today #midnightpassion #nails #covergirl #MaybeIAmBornWothIt #fresh

45 seconds later, a new, but slightly different post...

Fran_freaky19: goodnight everyone xoxox #kisses #naturalbeauty #love #midnightpassion 

The Generator

When you post an image such as the one above,  and friends start posting to your page what their results were.
TimnEricFreaks: Wonder Raptor, The Victor of the Past
AlfonsoSoriano: Captain Phantom, The Guardian of the Gauntlet
Giggles1989: Time Solider, The Sacred of the Seven

The Second Party Bad Angle

This angled shot is either taken by a parent who doesn't know better, an older person who doesn't know better, or some enraged revengeful asshole. 

The Attention Graber

"My hair is getting so long!"
Yeah, I noticed that! Oh, and your tits.

The Overreacted

Fran Smitherhouse: UGGGHHH I just spoke to the biggest asshole on the phone! Whatever you do, DO NOT go to the dentist on King Street. The receptionist is the biggest f$%*#^$  a$$h*&@# c#*^ you will ever see!!!!!!!!!!!! I called to make an appointment but never confirmed and now someone else has that slot. Such a f*&^%@* pig slut.

Every person who reads it:

The Gam Cam

 Cool! Or, if this seems more natural, neat!  

The Morning Hello

"Good Morning!"
Yes, good morning to you as well! So umm... I don't know how to say this, but, well, did someone murder your vagina last night? I ask because I just don't get why you are doing this.

Old School Facestalk

One of my earliest photos I posted after joining Facebook was the kind of picture I would not have posted today, just a bad look -think late MySpace.
Recently, a man "Liked" the photo, leading me to speculate that he clicked-through hundreds of images until he found this one, which was resting comfortably and untouched in my "Mobile Uploads."
 I am not judging, as most of us have been there, but the lesson here is: if you are attempting subtlety don't "Like" the image. If you want me to know you're doing it, click away.  

The Working Man

Not douchey, just confusing. You want us to like a photo of you doing your job? I definitely will if that's the case. 

Vacation Shot


Listen dude, we know you're wasted, listening to your iPhone and falling in and out of sleep. That's fine, just realize that we all know that book will not be touched. 

The Unnecessary Gym Pic Part Two


Quote Posts

"My mood right now."
Thank you for the inspiration Faulkner.

The Gas Guzzler

"Uggh this is UNBELIEVABLE!!"

Aaaaaaaaannnd no one gives a fuck. 

Song Choice

"So good!"

Yeah, we know. Now go back to your "Family Fued" show and watch as Steve Harvey's suit gets bigger before your eyes. 

The Bar View

There are two types of people out there: the person who posts the "beer on bar picture, " or their counterpart, the "hand holding the Starbucks cup" person.

Tis the Season

As we approach the fall season, you will most definitely see a #throwback photo accompanied with the phrase, "Winter is coming."

The Freak in the Sheets

Question: Going to bed, whose with me?
Answer: No one.



The Waiting Game

1. Subject posts picture/status.  

2. Subject waits for someone to comment or like post.

3. Subject gets excited for one like. 
4. Subject continues to wait for more people to "Like" their update.